Anna is so afraid of dogs and cats. So afraid.
Biking in the neighborhood sometimes becomes terrifying for her, when a dog seems to come out of no where. They come galloping to greet her with tongue hanging out the side of their mouth, panting a welcome; and her response is a scream of fear. She'll drop her bike and come racing back to me on foot to grab my legs while crying out "No, go home; mommy make him go!"
Cat sitting for our neighbor is also an adventure. Holding thirty pound Ben on one hip, while Anna clings to my pant leg, while I attempt to clean a litter box, fill the food dish and check the water bowls...sigh.
"Anna, let go of my leg! This is silly, I can't get around the house with you hanging on like this; go sit on the counter stool if you want to get away from the cats."
I have scoffed at her fear, trying to make it small, while brushing off her clinging.
Wait, am I ever afraid? Oh yes... And during that time I am so thankful to cling to something bigger then myself. Something solid. God.
Christ on the cross and his covering my sins with his forgiving grace, allows me to come close to my Father and BE with him...clinging.
Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Does she need to learn what to do during these times so she's not frozen
with fear. Yes, of course, but she can only do that with my reassurance
and guidance, shown to her in love. Impatience and scoffing only show
her I find her fears unreasonable and closes the door to our
relationship. God doesn't do that to us...for he is with us, and will strengthen and help us.
I should say, "Anna, I love you. And I know this makes you scared, But I am here with you. We'll walk through this together, with God as our guide. Because sometimes, mommy is scared of things too."
Lord, help me remember to love my children the same way you love me...passionately.
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