Anna as Peter

Anna shut her hand in the car door today. All by herself, not watching where her hand was when pushing it shut...and there she was, stuck. Going too weak and crazed to think about opening it back up to free herself, and turning terrified eyes straight to me to plead. Save me! Do something! As soon as her hand was free "Mommy I want to go home now. Take me home". 

Peter turns terrifies eyes to Jesus. Do something, save me! I have lost focus, and found myself paralyzed into an inability to help myself. The waves are to big, obstacles overcome, and there is only one thing I can do. Cry out. Take me to a safe place. (Matthew 14:22-33)

The one difference is Anna wasn't focused to begin with, or maybe she thought she was, only experience had not yet taught her where her focus should be. I guess that is also like Peter, he thought that his eyes were in the right place, that watching Christ walk the waves effortlessly was enough. It was enough, he had it, but his fear overcame what his eyes were showing him. The faith he had in Christ should have been bolstered by what he witnessed and yet is was not.

³¹ Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

Our faith should be made strong by our own testimony, the knowledge that Christ took upon himself all my filth, sins that I could not pay for. That should make my life giddy with joy. A strong faith that looks daily on the cross...so that I could walk across the ocean.

Lord, you who watch us stumble, Thank you for rescuing us. For taking us to yourself, loving us even when we forget to watch you. Thank you for never giving up on us when our faith is failing and falling and slipping. Your love is amazing.
Your hope is intoxicating and the joy of your cross drives me to praise you.
amen.


PS. Thankfully Anna was fine. Her hand wasn't even bruised. Small blessings that lead to immense Praises.

When my little girl clings...

Anna is so afraid of dogs and cats. So afraid.

Biking in the neighborhood sometimes becomes terrifying for her, when a dog seems to come out of no where. They come galloping to greet her with tongue hanging out the side of their mouth, panting a welcome; and her response is a scream of fear. She'll drop her bike and come racing back to me on foot to grab my legs while crying out "No, go home; mommy make him go!"

Cat sitting for our neighbor is also an adventure. Holding thirty pound Ben on one hip, while Anna clings to my pant leg, while I attempt to clean a litter box, fill the food dish and check the water bowls...sigh.
"Anna, let go of my leg! This is silly, I can't get around the house with you hanging on like this; go sit on the counter stool if you want to get away from the cats."

I have scoffed at her fear, trying to make it small, while brushing off her clinging.

Wait, am I ever afraid? Oh yes... And during that time I am so thankful to cling to something bigger then myself. Something solid. God.
 Christ on the cross and his covering my sins with his forgiving grace, allows me to come close to my Father and BE with him...clinging.

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you;
    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. 
 
Does she need to learn what to do during these times so she's not frozen with fear. Yes, of course, but she can only do that with my reassurance and guidance, shown to her in love. Impatience and scoffing only show her I find her fears unreasonable and closes the door to our relationship. God doesn't do that to us...for he is with us, and will strengthen and help us.

I should say, "Anna, I love you. And I know this makes you scared, But I am here with you. We'll walk through this together, with God as our guide. Because sometimes, mommy is scared of things too."

Lord, help me remember to love my children the same way you love me...passionately.

 

Counsel from the Cross: Connecting Broken People to the Love of Christ
Written by Elyse M. Fitzpatrick and Dennis E. Johnson

This entire book, in a nutshell, is about the Gospel. It’s a close look at the beautiful nature of the Cross, how we have forgotten that beauty and how taking our eyes off the Gospel  has led to a multitude of works based attempts to gain the love, peace and joy we desire.

            Forgetting Christ’s redemptive work on the cross and the Father’s love that placed him there, our sins that made it necessary for the action, and our lack of ability to repay that sin debt, leads to a self-centered, action based, feel good religion that doesn’t reflect Christ’s love, grace or forgiveness. Despite our best human efforts of changing ourselves we have no hope of accomplishing true heart change without knowing and seeing God’s glory.  

God's amazing, awesome, unlimited love continually forgives our lifetime of sins, not for anything we have done, but because he delights in his love for us. Christ's work on the cross finishes and demonstrates this unfailing love.

              In the call to love and counsel others we can see the need to present the gospel through all of God's word, not just the first time someone comes to the understanding of salvation, but determining to see the gospel over and over in all of God's word. This brings us back, time and again, to see our sins for what they are, to the saving knowledge of the Gospel and leads to heart change that is not about burdensome work to slave through, but lovingly responding to Christ's cross. Therefore obedience to God is a joyful overflow of gratitude.

             Did I enjoy this read? Oh yes!  What did I get out of this book? So much...I'm not sure where to begin. The joy of knowing my lifetime of sins are taken from me onto the cross because of God's love for me (not because I'm all that, but just because that is God's nature) is awesome. It's like the amazement of knowing a friend loves you despite your flaws, only a million times more, for what is human love when you can know GOD's love? Would I recommend this book? Most definitely. If I had a million dollars, I'd send it to everyone I know (but maybe I'll say that about all the books I've been assigned to read *wink*)!

 

Renovations in progress...

Renovations are life, right now. About two months ago, I started studying under a friend and mentor who is also a Christian counselor. Along with two others, we have begun to train for a biblical mentoring certification under her, and it's hard. The books are not hard to read, but the material is very challenging; and to date, I've only finished half of my first required reading. Every chapter I've been faced with questions about how I view my faith, the depth of my understanding and questioning why I think the way I do.

Recently, I described my studying like having my heart ripped open, examined and then gentle placed back together. It's hard; and yet I am so enjoying the process. It hurts, but I see my exposed sin and faulty thinking as another testimony to God's grace, for he loves me still!

As it says in Hebrews 4:12-13  For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. ¹³ Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.

Ugly in my humanity, unable to hid ANYTHING, and yet it says in Ephesians 2:4-7 

 ⁴ But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, ⁵ made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions —it is by grace you have been saved. ⁶ And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, ⁷ in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus.

 Is anyone else thrilled by these words?! God is awesome!

And then, because of Christ's cross covered those sins for me, Romans 12: 2

² Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is —his good, pleasing and perfect will.

 

I realize that to some transformation may sound very uncomfortable and even threatening. But God doesn't want us to stay where we are...he longs for us to be molded into his son's perfect likeness, and that is a life long process that is beautifully painful, and only finished when we are with him in heaven.

So in the months to come, as I study, I thought I would share my findings, just in case you are looking for a challenging read. But I warn you, God will not allow you to read these books without moving in your heart too. That's what happens when we think on his cross and what it means to us.

Thank you LORD!!

This Blog is Not at all what I intended it to be...so let's just say it's on the back burner for the time being. I may use it in the future for Anna and Ben, but until that time comes, don't expect to see much of anything new here.